Without the comfort of linguistic structure

7/1/13

We are halfway through the first day. I am having a mix of emotions and thoughts. I am not sure how many of our goals are being met due to the language barrier - teaching concepts and using leading questions is infinitely harder when you need a translator for your words. It's like there are two conversations happening - one between me and Verepi, and another between Verepi and the group.

After just a few hours of work, I am noticing slowly that there seems to be very little connection between the body and emotions here. When I ask questions about emotions during the exercises, I get blank stares - maybe it has to do with cultural assumptions about being open with emotions.

I am just concerned that we are not achieving our goals. The "opposite of Jackson" game became more like "Simon says" and it went very quickly. All of the morning exercises went very fast actually, and they weren't maybe so serious as they normally are. There seemed to be a bit of joking around, which is part of what makes me nervous about the kinds of things that are being retained. But I'm not sure how to do this better.

The language barrier is more difficult and more frustrating than I thought it would be. So much of my teaching revolves around gauging responses from the students to my words and body language, but when they don't understand either of those things there is a huge gap to fill.

Questions for today: what is the relationship between student and teacher without language? Without the comfort of linguistic structure? ... Forces you to find other ways of communicating.

Finding an ally and contemplating the work at hand

Due to the lack of a reliable internet connection while we were in Malawi, I wasn't able to post anything to our blog. To make up for that, I kept a detailed field journal with thoughts and reflections on the workshop. I'll share bits of it here in the coming weeks.

6/30/13: 1 day before the Salima Project

The workshops are starting tomorrow. Today was a mix of emotions and thoughts. Excitement, nerves, confidence, trepidation, relief. I went over the whole schedule with Genna and she seemed very positive about the curriculum which relieved some of my nervous energy. They will love it, she says. I guess I am not so sure. I am anxious that it will not go well - that people won't participate in the games, that they will be too shy.

I also sat down and spoke with Mphatso today about the schedule and the discussion produced a number of emotions for me - I felt calmed to know that I have an ally in him - I hadn't been so sure when we met yesterday because he is so shy. I got quite nervous talking to him - I felt rushed - so I spoke too fast. I'm not sure he understood everything I meant to say about the work. I think he got the general idea, but I'm nervous about the question we need to ask to generate the forum plays. Posing the question correctly is the whole point, after all - if you pose the wrong question, or pose it the wrong way, you maybe aren't as effective as you could be in doing this work.

But then another part of me wonders if I am getting too caught up in small details. Genna keeps saying that just being here will be immensely beneficial for the group. Then again - I never want to be complacent in my work - it is in that moment of complacency that it risks amounting to less than its potential, doing less than it could, or worse - doing the opposite of our intentions.

Other things to remember: human dignity - keep asking - what is the other person's experience? what am I not seeing? Remember to look with love and compassion. JOY.